Apparently I *dont* understand

Really?? Reallllllllly??!!
Shut the fuck up..What exactly is there to understand exactly?
I get that you're a fucking moron. That's all the understanding you need sweet boy.

Go.fuck.yourself.

&& Don't tell me that you "know you're wrong" and that makes it ok.
Admitting you are wrong does not get you a "foot out of mouth" pass. So keep choking on it. ( Better that than your black roommates dick right?)


Just because you're an insensitive , lacking compassion piece of shit..doesn't mean I need to feel sorry for you because *you cant help the way you are* or accept the fact that you don't know how to treat people. ( Or animals for that matter ..who the fuck in their right mind eats their pet Rabbit when it dies??)

Somebody just needs to massage that boy's forehead with a brick. I mean, why doesn't he just lie down IN FRONT of the oncoming train?

So yes I was a super mega bitch, and yes you deserved it..and for that matter everyone else who sees that side of me deserves it as well.

It's such a nice feeling to watch you run away with you tail between your legs..
Amazing that you're able to maneuver so well..but not surprising really, since you don't have a fucking spine.

You know what I hate about you?

"You" being a very broad spectrum of people..
but I do feel a rant coming on.

I hate that you fucking talk too much..you are so bloody fucking self centered and self righteous..and why???? You are an overweight piece of shit. If I have to listen to one more story about your lemon cheesecake and how it was a "hit" at last years "social"...I'll kill you..and burn your mother fucking recipe.

And why the hell are you so sensitive..How fucking annoying are you???? Hurting your feelings is like shooting fish in a barrel. I bet reading this hurt your feelings didn't go. Go cry a river, and drown yourself in it.

I hate your nose, your big ginormous..huge flaring omfg nostril nose.


And you.. oh you..who can type 60WPM..but can't seem to have the time to message back. How about this..how about I come over there..and take your fucking keyboard and smash that smile off your stupid know it all face..then I'll make Spaghetti in your kitchen and NOT clean up after myself.

I hate that you had to think 3 months..before deciding to get a blender. THREE FUCKING MONTHS. ...good luck getting a girlfriend..let alone laid.

And finally you... Stop trying to kill yourself, you're too much of a loser to succeed.

Stupid Fucking Pussy

On days like today..when I am completely bitchy ( More so than the usual and trust me..that's a whole fucking lot.) My cat really really pisses me off.

She is the biggest cunt..wrapped up in the tiniest furry package ever..and on days like today I hate her.

So I daydream about the possible ways she could meet her ultimate doom.

The first that comes to mind is pretty mild..
Simply just quietly sneaking up behind her with a pillow case scooping her up..going outside..and doing a couple really nice big lasso swings..shouting "hee fucking haw" on the top of my lungs..and letting her fly.

Or perhaps a more creative approach..
hog tieing her paws together, and then attaching a hefty garbage bag ( Heavy duty) to them all parachute style..and giving her the ole heave ho off the roof..and letting God take care of the rest.

She's pretty small..so I *might* be able to flush her down the toilet like a dead pet fish or hamster.

Or I can just "accidentally" throw her out with the next garbage day.( Or is she recyclable?)

Also a thought..I could sprinkle her with garlic and other random tasty spices..and leave her at Ming's Chinese Food ..I'm sure they would take her.

Exchanging her with my friends pet hamster has come to mind on a few occasions..
Just shoving her the fuck in the cage...Grabbing the hamster and pretending like nothing happened. ( Hamster will later be flushed)

Microwave..washing maching..dryer..food processor..buying a big hungry dog...

Oh the possibilities are endless.

But later I remember that although she is the biggest most annoying cunt ever..
What else could I expect..with me as her owner?

Ap's Likes.

1. The word "Epic"

2. Edward Cullen ( because he's cold like me)

3. Melons. ( Take that as you will )

4. Black men ( HUGE fucking ..brains)

5. Asian men ( Cause small cocks need love too)

6. Blondes..who doesn't?

7. The phrase "I'm gunna busta cap in yo ass"

8. Karma , because its a bitch and so am I.

9. Sticking a piece of tape to a cat's foot.

10. Taking a shit while masturbating ( Kill two birds with one stone)

11. Chubbies thread on 4Chan.

12. Bachelor Frog

13. Naive People ( Especially when they happen to be drinking Evian)

14. Getting a kit cat, and not sharing it with anyone

15. Power Rangers

16. Standing next to my b/f when he is on the phone with work..Letting one massive fart rip..and then exclaiming.. "Oh that's SO gross,Fuck! Excuse yourself!" before he can say anything.

17. Texting random numbers to ask people their advice on which cereal I should get.

18. Excepting all friend requests on Facebook, just to delete them 2 hours later. ( WAC)

19. Roses

20. Impromptu Gangbangs

Your call is important to us..

Waiting on hold is one of the most annoying fucking things in the world. period.
As if wasting 20 mins of my fucking day with the phone pressed up against my ear..just to tell Shaw they have once again charged me for 3 Adult movies..when I clearly only ordered 2..isn't bad enough..but then you have to deal with the elevator music..interrupted every two mins..by some repetitive overly happy broad telling me that my call is important to them..and I MUST remain on the line to INSURE I wont lose my place.

Well FUCK YOU..If my call was REALLY important to you ... you would shut the fuck up..and play Top 40s. Are we really stupid enough that we need to be told to remain on the line? Isn't that part obvious? oh Fuck..you mean if I hang up now..I wont be able to talk to someone.. really? fuck you.

By the time someone actually answers the call..I'm usually completely oblivious that I have the phone to my ear..because Ive been waiting so fucking long and have zoned out entirely to Whitney Houston's "I will Always love you."

On a good day if I can quickly clear my head and remember what the fuck I called about, it is almost assumed that it is going to be some Asian Chick or Some East Indian Jerk off..that I can't understand. Apparently it's racist to ask to speak to someone who speaks real English..You know the "fancy kind" that I can actually fucking understand.

So basically waiting in any aspect for anything at all..SUCKS.
Anything that was "worth the wait" would be just as great if I got it when I fucking wanted it.
Which I should
Because I'm a Princess.
nuff said.

I'll admit it I act like I'm 5 the majority of the time.
I slam doors, Don't share my toys, Talk way too much, pout when I don't get my way, Fuck I even wear my hair in pigtails..and above all else I don't play well with others.

And if you don't fucking like it. I'll just take my ball and go home.

Things I Hate (Part One)

1. Ants - Who fucking cares if they can lift 100 times their body weight. Hellllo people!? That's still very fucking unimpressive!!!

2.Double Penetration Porn

3. Huge Brown Nipples- National Geographic Style

4. Tuesdays- ( Because who fucking likes them?)

5. Pubic Hair- Nothing like finding a random one in your mouth!

6. Men who buy cars to compensate for their own lack of self worth.

7. Pineapples- I disagree about them being a food..obviously from the looks of them, they do NOT want to be fucking cut open and eaten.

8. Hedgehogs- Because they're just dangerous Hamsters

9. Hearing someone take a shit in a public washroom - What happened to courtesy flushing ffs?

10. Bambi- You're a DEER..your MOM was a deer. Hence why she was taken out in a bloody mess by a hunter. Get over it,grow a pair and stop talking to rabbits.

11. Valentine's Day- the urge to love is overwhelmingly annoying as fuck.

12. Cats- Specifically when they get shit stuck to their fur and drag it on the floor.

13. Fart Jokes

14. Positive Personalitys- Because they drag me up

15. Skinny Jeans- Worn by fat hoes. Accentuates the Gunt.

16. Mr. Clean- No one tells me how to clean my fucking floors

17. Chuck Norris- Hey asshole..the world actually revolves around me

18. Long Hair- Cut it bitch, you look like a horse

19. M&M's- Smarties retarded younger brother

20. Sushi- Because it's RAW people. NO different than taking a cow..chopping it up..wrapping it in some hay and going to town. Sick Japanese fucks.