In this cup are all the tears,
he's ever made me cry

Pour them down his lying throat,
watch him choke and die

His death was not caused by me,
Because I'm a princess of course!

He didn't really choke on my tears,
But only on his own remorse

Do as I say..not as I do.

Advice.. what we all seek out from others..what we all give..and none of us ever follow.
So what the fuck is the point.

My mother gives the best advice that she never follows. EVER.
She sits on her fat ass sneaking Kit Kat bars behind a pillow while watching her third soap opera of the day..
She'll call me on the commercial and when I've voiced my concerns about losing weight, she will munch away happily and tell me that all I need to do is eat healthy and exercise.

Meanwhile she's getting close to the 300 pound mark..and the owner of Hershey's just keeps getting richer and richer. I don't mean to bash my mother..but holy fuck..stop eating the planet.

My boyfriend sighs when he sees me do any form of physical exertion. Like I've just personally insulted his fat ass or something.. like me doing sit ups on the living room floor..disgraces his entire being..although my personal favorite is his ADVICE for me to "push it" and "try harder" while he is sitting behind me on the couch eating Doritos and watching my ass bounce.

"It's annoying when you work out...but kinda hot too"

... O_o
Are you fucking kidding me??
What's annoying would be the fact that you don't support me, that you've gained 70 pounds since we've been together..and that your Doritos smell fucking good.

Take me for granted..I dare you.

Taking me for granted is probably the stupidest thing you could ever do.
( Even dumber than that time you tried to nail jello to the tree.)

I will email you, text you..stay up late to hear your troubles..offer my advice, my sympathy, my kindness..my hugs..my kisses..my words of encouragement ..my heart...everything..

Ignore me? Take me for granted? Act like you don't care whether I am in your life..Don't appreciate me? Fuck you then.

I'll disappear completely.

Little things at first.
You probably won't even notice or care.
Perhaps a lack of texts..or maybe I'm just not on msn as much as I used to be? The phone doesn't ring as often does it?..and where did my silly smile that you loved so much go?

Is it because I don't care?

NO ..it's because YOU don't fucking care. If YOU cared..you would of figured out..where the fuck I went..but you never did care did you???? You have no problem letting me go ..do you??..because you weren't holding on that tight to begin with.
I'm sick to death of people pretending they give two fucks about something..but then letting it slip away..like it's nothing.

You my dear, will one day look back..and remember me..and wonder what went wrong.
And then realize..it was you..

So go fuck yourself.
If I passed you by on the street and you were crying..I wouldn't even hear you. Just like you can't hear me.

I hate you for everything you are, and everything you made me want. For every lie you hand fed me, for every ounce of kindness you showed me,for holding my delicate heart in your palm and knowingly crushing it and for taking advantage of my naive believing ways. For every tear that streams down my cheek and for every tear I keep inside. I hate you. {I.Hate.You}

Kinda redefines bitter, doesn't it?

*push* Go Play in Traffic *push*

There are many people in my life that I would just love to give a swift kick in the ass to..preferably into oncoming traffic.

Let's focus on two of those said people, shall we.

One is an EX of a current good friend of mine. I will do this stupid cunt a favor and keep it anonymous..so let's call her "Melissa".
The other is a male reject from society..and soon to be rejected from my life as well.
Also I will do him a favor and call him "Joe"

Those favors..by the way..are the only ones I will be giving out in this rant.
Because they can both go fuck themselves.

Melissa seems to think that she can eat like a motherfucker..and be fat as fuck..but lose all her remaining weight by smoking, rampant diarrhea, and vomiting.
OMFG SO ATTRACTIVE. ( I'm pretty sure she will have to borrow the money to pay for the food she vomits up from her Mother..just sayin')

Joe seems to think that he can fuck with people like a champ and then retreat back into his lifestyle like it doesn't matter. No one would ever suspect that he uses people in the manner he does.For that he earns my *most secretly hated award* and a big.. FUCK YOU... Life is not a game.

In my fantasy I tie Joe up to my dining room chair..and leave him there to wither away to nothing.**Celine Dion playing in the background**

( I'll probably go for a run, grab a coffee and perhaps watch a re-run of Seinfeld in the meantime.)

I'm going to bring in a freshly vomited and starving Melissa to the picture.
Pour some BBQ sauce ( the good HP shit) all over Mr.Joe **See where I'm going with this?**

nomnomnomnomnom. MOAR nomnomnomnom.
♪ ♫ ♫...and never let go till were gone..... ♫ ♫ ♪

Melissa will get arrested..( because it's just not nice to eat people )
..however I WILL send her a blue "Super Kid" ribbon for helping a sista out.
I'm guessing she will be sentenced to live out the remaining years of her useless piece of shit life on a farm..*lots of space to run, and the spare barn can be used for her over sized clothing*

And Joe? Well he's gone.. so it will be so much easier for me to not give a fuck, about him not giving a fuck about me.
(( I think this is much more efficient than ignoring the loser on msn right?))

and his status..

Joe is dead. There will be no funeral just applause.

Angry Princess and 4765874654 others like this.

Thought for the Day.

Do you think..that I think its "cute" that you own so many issues of Maxim that the binds of the magazines make a nude slut????

Badabababa *fa[s]t food*

"I don't like McDonalds"

Oh fuck you..you SO do.
I'm sick to fucking death of random peeps coming out with that statement.
Especially since it usually comes out like so..

"I don't like McDonalds..except their fries.."

Okay..I'm no genius..but that means you DO like Mcdonalds.
Regardless if you like their breakfast sandwiches, fries, fillet o fish..or staring at the cashiers young perky tits and acne...you LIKE it right?? So do me a favor and STFU.

I'm actually waiting for Mcdonalds to take salads and "grilled" shit off their menu..because if I wanted to eat something "healthy" ..Mcdonalds would be the last place I would go. Who the fuck is satisfied with those limp fucking salads..and cardboard grilled chicken anyways???? ( Tastes like a dry pussy in my humble opinion)

If I wanted something healthy I would eat some sushi..the fish eggs popping in my mouth and the subtle scent of salmon reminds me of my latest "rendezvous".

Honestly you DON'T want me to be honest. (okay? ok.)

Why are people so hyped up on being honest with each other??!! If you sit down and think about it, do you really want everyone to be honest with you?? Um no. Do you really want ME to be honest with you..hell.fucking.no
I am a complete and utter bitch..asking me to be honest with you will only result in expensive counselling sessions and trip to Costco to buy yet again another 24 pack of Kleenex.

Question:
Do I look fat in this? **No, you look lovely** ((LIE))

"Honest" Answer:
Yes, yes you most certainly fucking do. Think about it sweets, if you have to ask me if you look fat in it..you already fucking KNOW that you do. So take the motherfuckin' dress off..or love your chub.

Question:
Do you think she'll be mad? **Of course not, she'll understand** ((LIE))

"Honest" Answer:
Are you fucking kidding me??? If you have to ask if she's mad..trust me..SHE IS.
She's probably thinking of some sweet ass revenge while you're sitting here on your fat ass sulking.

Question:
I'm sure happy were friends, aren't you? **Yes, very much so.** ((LIE))

"Honest" Answer: We're Friends?

Question:
I think my boyfriend likes you better then me. **You're imagining things hun, you know he loves you more then anything.** ((LIE))

"Honest" Answer: I knew it!


And don't even get me started on the "male variety" of questions...
Which include "Wasn't that the best sex ever?" and "Isn't my dick big?!" and "You love sucking it don't you?" **Yes,Yes Yes!!** ((LIES)) .. "honest" answers (( No,Fuck No,Hell Fucking No. ))

So to sum it up people always want you to be honest with them on their terms.
Basically they want you to tell them "honestly" what THEY want to hear...and never what you "honestly" think.

And for me?
I personally like it when people lie to me.
No seriously I really fucking do.
Tell me I'm pretty, I'm amazing, My eyes are like liquid pools of turquoise and I that I have an ass that just wont quit.

And sure some of them MIGHT be true..but when it really really comes down to it.
Who the fuck cares what you say? Does it matter who thinks you're nice..or a slut, or a two faced cunt??? Does it matter if your next door neighbours ...sisters brothers aunts niece really thinks your the NICEST PERSON EVER???? Seriously..who gives a fuck.


I know what I am..
Do you know who you are?
If yes..go with it, and everyone else can fuck off. ( hey, it's working for me..)

Do I care that you're FAT. ( um.no)

If you are FAT.. I honestly could care less. Eat whatever you want, Be a strong women, be curvy, do it for the HUGE tits or the floppy vag..I don't care..I really don't.

UNLESS..you feel the need to bitch about the fact that you are fat..while sitting on MY couch eating your third Twix bar and washing it down with a 2L of Mountain Dew.
Then yes..that will irritate the fuck out of me.

I'm all about being yourself..and finding yourself ( which is easier to do the bigger you are.)
And I think that women in all shapes and sizes are either beautiful or not. Being fat really has nothing to do with being pretty in my mind...and for personality.. I know smaller women who are just as big of cunts, as the huge women who are cunts and have huge cunts((obviously)). **Yes, I hate everyone equally.**

Now as you read this you probably are thinking..omfg she must be fat...
Actually the only thing that's huge on me is my ego..



..Caring is overrated..Seriously.
Take a lesson from me folks..if you find yourself caring too much..just sit back and think..WAPC??!! ( Would Angry Princess Care)
If you find yourself answering "hell no" ..then politely stop listening to whoever is talking, and think of things that you would like to purchase..or perhaps the next sexual position you would like to try. As long as you throw in a polite (mhm) now and then and a sympathetic (sigh).. followed by "Oh golly gosh, someone is on the other line..can I call you back later?" they'll never even notice.


Things I don't care about ( So don't talk about them with me.)

Your Relationship.
If you are doing well, if it is failing..if he beats you within an inch of your life on a daily basis. (Tell someone else. What the fuck am I supposed to do?)
I don't care if he bought you a flower with your name engraved on the petals and you are going to have sex underneath a waterfall tonight..or if she is 18 and you are 30..and "What do you think?" DON'T ASK..you do not want my opinion on things..I'm not nice..remember?
Jesus.

Speaking of Jesus. Religion.

I get it. Everyone wants to believe that their religion is going to Heaven..while the rest of everyone else goes to hell. This almighty wonderful God.. is apparently a fucking bully. If your an old Jewish pervert..sure come on in!! HOWEVER if you happen to be a blond haired blue eyed baby, who is Christian..Um no sorry..no room for you.
Shut the fuck up about your religion..I DO NOT CARE..and GOD DOESN'T EITHER ( I know..I've talked to him..we went golfing.)


Your Weight ( see above)

i suport publik edukayshun.( Grammar and shit.)
Fuck off.. STOP worrying about grammar. Seriously life isn't school..
Do you understand what I'm saying??? IF SO.. Then who gives a flying fuck if I put noone or ain't...or heaven forbid I put there..instead of their. (( another reason I won't be going to/two/too heaven I suppose.))

Drama.
I don't want to hear the story you promised so and so you wouldn't tell ok?
So if your story starts with.."Well I said I wouldn't tell anyone...." THEN DON'T.
Stop being a stupid cunt and keep your trap shut. Because guess what?? If you can't be trusted with her secrets, you sure as hell can't be trusted with mine.

FriENDship. (( Get with the program or get the fuck out of my life.))

Firstly I'll start out by saying.. Girls as friends...ultimately suck ass. They are petty, annoying, nasty ass bitches..and OH SO JEALOUS. Yes Men might be a bit on the less sensitive side..also a bit dimmer..and not quite as attractive or fun to shop with. ( Gay friends excluded.) But all and all..they are much less drama.

From now on I think I will be handing out my list of rules to new and upcoming potential friends.. "Hi, I'm Brittany...Hi Brittany..listen before we even begin this..here is my list of rules." (( Will that be awkward? ))

AP's Rules for Friendship~ <3

1. If you are a cunt..we can still be friends. Just don't be one to me.

2. Who and what you fuck..and when you fuck it..doesn't matter to me..so don't make
my sex life or preference your concern either.

3. If you have a problem with ME..do me a favor..Don't talk about it with everyone in the whole fucking neighbourhood..talk to ME about it. (( this should be obvious but..?))

4. Agree with me a lot. I like that. ( Also I am almost never wrong. The few times I have been wrong..I have just changed the answer or solution to the problem..therefore making me right.)

5. Stop being jealous of me. Instead compliment me a lot..I like that.

6. I am the nicest, sweetest, most giving person you will have in your life. Don't take my kindness for a weakness though...or I will tear off your head and shove it up your ass ( while smiling.)

7. You must love Creme Eggs. If you don't.. choke them down, and pretend you do.

8. No! You can't borrow my hoodie. You will ruin it.

9. Never call me a bitch. ( Even if I'm being one.) Cunt is okay though.

10. After a 3 month trial period we will re evaluate our friendship and go from there.


...you know the more I think about it..the more I wonder if becoming a "social hermit" would be better for me? Sure I will still be social on Facebook..and msn.
But I'll stay at home rockin out some kick ass hello kitty pjs..and let the real world go fuck itself..while I thrive in my natural habitat. Fuck friendships, work, responsibilities, feeding the cat.. I'll just sit and polish my tiara.

Cunt has a nice RING to it.

My home phone rings..it's my friend..I look at the call display.. notice it's her..and set down the phone. I'm busy..in a pissed off mood and just want to be alone. ((I'll call her back)) Less then a minute later..my cell starts vibrating... I look at my phone..notice it's the same friend..set down the phone...slightly annoyed. (( I'll call her back later)) Two minutes after my computer makes the familar..doodoo!...Looks like I have a new message on msn..(( Guess who?! )) I open it and read. "Hey, How's it going I called you and no answer" Realize I should respond that I'm busy..but I'm even more annoyed and close the conversation box (( I might respond later.))
Wait what's that I hear? ...My phone alerts me that I have an SMS message from Facebook..
"So and So has written on your wall.. "Is everything okay I haven't heard from you all day." ...I close my phone..look at my watch it's 9:30 AM. I sigh deeply.
So I pick up the phone and return the call..
Literally on the phone for possibly 2 minutes before their second line beeps and I lose the battle of "Whose more important to keep on the line."

Seriously..what the fuck is wrong with people..
Last time I checked..just because I have a phone does NOT mean that I have to answer it..and stalking me until I finally cave and call you..is not only insanely creepy..but fucking wrong. What if I had to take a massive dump? What if I was napping? What if I just didn't give two fucks that you were calling me? ( Number one is most likely at 9:30am, fyi) So FUCK OFF, and stop calling me.



The Word Cunt. ( Can this profanity be more used than "fuck"? )

Cunt means a lot to me as a women.
I started using the word Cunt..about a year ago..just tossing it into random conversations here and there. "Omfg, that cunt keeps calling me." etc. ((see above))
I've literally desensitised it for myself..completely.
In fact..it's so bad..that I have to be careful to not just blurt out "Cunt" at the supermarket when I drop an orange..because the world just isn't ready for the word Cunt yet.
So this is my gift to you..
Use the word..if you're unsure just use it for a week. It's great. If your a male it makes you feel like a hard core bad ass, and if you're a women not only will you get a lot of respect from your guy pals..it will also make you feel empowered ( after all you are talking about your vagina! *Girl Power!!*) Be forewarned it's addicting. Keep in mind that a cunt can be many of things..( spouse, significant other, favorite pet or Grandmother)
Just go for it, and be creative.

Mean People Suck.

Mean People Suck
I'm mean..
Yet I'm fab.
Anything I say on here is validated, and if you don't think so. Fuck off and don't read.

Topic for today.. "Compassion"

www.dictionary.com describes compassion as

"a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."

I'm sick and tired of the lack of compassion in my life.
I literally have spent way too much time and energy pouring love and kindess into certain people...to get nothing back.

So today is a new day..and I'm thinking. Fuck being nice. Mean people suck..but are they happier?
Yes..I'm guessing on a different level they are. Much happier then I.. Seriously going through all the hassle to be nice..time and time again.. only to have it ignored. (fuck.that)

Being compassionate and kind to those who return the favor..works for me.
Otherwise no.

So I'm going to be a selfish cunt ( yes I said cunt..and I'm a girl..get over it.)
and I'm going to show compassion towards myself.."alleviate the suffering" of one super pissed off angry princess..

how?

Simple. I just wont give a fuck about the people that don't give a fuck about me.