FriENDship. (( Get with the program or get the fuck out of my life.))

Firstly I'll start out by saying.. Girls as friends...ultimately suck ass. They are petty, annoying, nasty ass bitches..and OH SO JEALOUS. Yes Men might be a bit on the less sensitive side..also a bit dimmer..and not quite as attractive or fun to shop with. ( Gay friends excluded.) But all and all..they are much less drama.

From now on I think I will be handing out my list of rules to new and upcoming potential friends.. "Hi, I'm Brittany...Hi Brittany..listen before we even begin this..here is my list of rules." (( Will that be awkward? ))

AP's Rules for Friendship~ <3

1. If you are a cunt..we can still be friends. Just don't be one to me.

2. Who and what you fuck..and when you fuck it..doesn't matter to me..so don't make
my sex life or preference your concern either.

3. If you have a problem with ME..do me a favor..Don't talk about it with everyone in the whole fucking neighbourhood..talk to ME about it. (( this should be obvious but..?))

4. Agree with me a lot. I like that. ( Also I am almost never wrong. The few times I have been wrong..I have just changed the answer or solution to the problem..therefore making me right.)

5. Stop being jealous of me. Instead compliment me a lot..I like that.

6. I am the nicest, sweetest, most giving person you will have in your life. Don't take my kindness for a weakness though...or I will tear off your head and shove it up your ass ( while smiling.)

7. You must love Creme Eggs. If you don't.. choke them down, and pretend you do.

8. No! You can't borrow my hoodie. You will ruin it.

9. Never call me a bitch. ( Even if I'm being one.) Cunt is okay though.

10. After a 3 month trial period we will re evaluate our friendship and go from there.


...you know the more I think about it..the more I wonder if becoming a "social hermit" would be better for me? Sure I will still be social on Facebook..and msn.
But I'll stay at home rockin out some kick ass hello kitty pjs..and let the real world go fuck itself..while I thrive in my natural habitat. Fuck friendships, work, responsibilities, feeding the cat.. I'll just sit and polish my tiara.